Oh infertility, I hate you.

Seriously, if anyone didn't know our situation and just knew that month after month I take medicine that makes me sick they'd think we're nuts. But such is life of an infertile couple, unfortunately. At least I know when we finally do get pregnant I am going to really appreciate every little thing because of everything I've gone through to get there. I don't think people really get what goes into getting pregnant for an infertile couple, so I want to help out with that a bit. For most people it's a cycle.. woman gets a visit from AF, woman ovulates, sex happens and bam pregnancy. For us well...


To start each month (continued daily throughout each month):
Wake up, take temp. before doing ANYTHING and chart it.
Take 1000 MG of Metformin - which by the way, makes me incredibly sick but I need to take it.
Take a prenatal
I also go to the doctors 1x a month to make sure my body is behaving on my meds and actually doing what it is supposed to.

For 10 days a month:
Aside from taking the metformin and the prenatals I take Provera.
Provera is used to make me have a period. Because my body sucks and refuses to.
Hopefully after the 10 days + 4 extras I should start, though I don't always. If I start great, if I don't then I bump it to 2000mg of metformin and provera again.

Days 5-9 of my period:
Aside from metformin and prenatals I now take Clomid.
Clomid is supposed to make me ovulate, usually.
I have to chart like always and I have to take ovulation tests everyday just to make sure I did indeed ovulate each month.


On top of all of this, I feel like garbage, I'm moody and my hormones are all over the place. I have to call my doctor after all of that to discuss my cycle for that month and devise a new plan for the next, just in case. All of this, just to get disappointment after disappointment as the months go on. I'm not writing this for sympathy but rather for understanding. It's a sad cycle that seems never ending. I don't need pity but I do need support. You have to understand its hard to KEEP doing this month after month so sometimes I need that push, that vote of confidence.. anything to make me feel better ya know?

Anyways, that's my ramblings for tonight. I really hope this helps those who aren't dealing with this but know someone that is to better understand the sadness that comes with infertility. The exhaustion of constantly checking up to see if you body is doing what it SHOULD be doing without medication. Because it really is a tiring thing.


Until tomorrow and a BFP,

Infertile Amber.