Hello infertility, nice to meet you...

Infertility;
n.

1. Absent or diminished fertility.
2. The persistent inability to conceive a child.
   
   
   My life, revolves around this word. I eat, breath, sleep infertility. It has taken over my every thought. I see a pregnant woman, I cringe. I see people with their kids, I cry. I can't help it, I'm bitter and dammit I have that right! I'm 23, if I hear "well you're still young" one more time I might scream. I am well aware that 23 is "young" that's not the point.. the point actually is that I'm still NOT pregnant. It has nothing to do with age, it has to do with my ovaries and how much they suck.
   
   Anyways I'm Amber, as I said I'm 23. I'm married, happily to Nate. We've been together over 5 years and we've been TTC for what seems like a lifetime. A little less than a year ago I was officially diagnosed with PCOS (Oh, joy) though doctors thought it was what I had years before that. For those that don't know, PCOS is Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, basically it means I have cysts (duh) on my ovaries that cause me to not ovulate (although I do ovulate with the help of Clomid). Anyways, this is going to be about our journey to hopefully parenthood or to answers and closure... we'll see how it goes.
   
   Just be warned, there will be days where it seems nothing is wrong, there will be days where I am a wreck. Believe me, I've been dealing with it a couple of years, my emotions are a roller coaster. I'm trying eagerly to find the "light at the end of the tunnel" but so far all I see is everyone else pregnant with kids and me here, with none in sight. Believe me, it's hard to see that on a day to day basis. Add the fact that my husband is in the Army, infantry to be exact and infantry families reproduce like rabbits, especially here so we're definitely the "odd man out." Don't get me wrong, I AM happy for my friends that have kids... but I also am jealous. It's okay, I'm not going to hate anyone for having a kid.. well maybe those who shouldn't be parents (we'll save that for another post) but I'm not going to be ecstatic either.. unless you're a fellow infertility friend, then I'll probably be more excited than you.
   
   && for a laugh, because I NEED to laugh (thank you www.999reasonstolaugh.com)
   
   You know you’ve joined the infertility club when….
   1- You know your husband’s sperm count (both washed and unwashed)
   2- You can say the words “vagina” or “semen” without giggling
   3- The nurses at the fertility clinic knows you by first and last name
   4- You give directions to the ultrasound room to new infertiles
   5- You can tell the doctor your temperature to the exact decimal point
   6- You told the ultrasound technician your follicle size and uterine lining before she told you
   7- You refer to a Monday as a ‘Day 3′
   8-You refuse to purchase tampons or pads until it’s too late (another pair of ruined underwear!)
   9- You’re thinking of dressing up like a test tube or the Octomom for Halloween
   10- You refuse to go into a hot tube in fear of hard boiling any eggs
   
   
   Signed,
   Infertile Amber.