It's been quite a while since I've updated this. Honestly, I'm not sure (at this point in time) what to update about. This past month my husband and I decided was our last month to actively try for a baby. Actively meaning with medicine and the help of doctors. It's SO incredibly heartbreaking to always here, "maybe next month." My body cannot handle all of these meds and my heart cannot handle any more negatives. So, we made a decision to let it go.. until after deployment. This breaks my heart even more than stopping because I know one of the biggest things was Nate wanted a baby before he deployed.
Good news is, my body is still working without the medicine. I had AF this month and I ovulated without anything. This is great news, because that means I can stop medicine altogether. On another note I have officially decided I will be having gastric bypass surgery. This should happen within the next couple of months. Our hope is that 1) I'll become healthier for myself and 2) I'll lose enough weight that I could have a baby a lot easier than I can now.
I'm just sad, I know I'm getting depressed about the whole thing. I've been talking to a counselor in hopes to kind of, forgive myself and move past the infertility. I need to realize that I am more than my infertility, and I will be okay regardless. I'm getting there, slowly but surely. It's a lot of work though and it'll take me quite a while.
Deployment, yuck. I've decided I'm going home during deployment. I just think being here, surrounded by pregnant people or people with kids isn't the best idea ever for me.. especially because I'll be here alone. So yea... going home for sure.
Anyways that's my life lately, I'll update a hell of a lot more often than I am now I promise!!
Until we're pregnant I'm hormonally yours,
Amber =)
I am so proud of you!!!! I can not imagine the heartbreak you both face month after month. Your attitude and outlook is inspiring! I love these decisions you have made for you future and am just proud to see you working through such a hard time, which most people (including myself) will never understand!!! You are one amazingly strong and beautiful woman!! I am so blessed to call you a friend!! I am excited to come back and be by your side through this next chapter in your life.
ReplyDeleteAnd girl you would be FREAKING CRAZY to stay in Hell Paso, when Nate deploys. That just means we will be making road trips to see one another....hopefully I will be closer than TX at that point!!!
I <3 you honey and your amazing...do NOT forget that!!!!
Amber you already know what I think and feel about all of this because we have talked about it. But I just want you to know how happy I am for you and the decisions you are making, because they are not easy ones to make. You are a phenomenal woman, and I am very happy to call you my friend. You know I'm here if you need anything.
ReplyDelete